Overheard in Glasgow…

27 Feb

True story.

“Came in the other day, didn’t have any baccy”

“Oh yeah?”


“Managed to get some off Tim. Wanna know what I gave him in return?”

“Go on then”

“A tin of sardines.”


“Yeah, apparently they’re nice on toast. Bit too oily for me but.”

“Why did you give him the sardines?”

“Don’t like ’em.”

“Why did you buy the sardines?”

“Found ’em. I was in Lidl, see”

“Yeah. Lidls in town was it?”

“That’s the one. I was packing my shopping, and I saw a bag that had been left”

“And the sardines were in the bag, were they?”

“Yeah, must’ve been about five or six cans. This bloke must have loved his sardines.”

The two old men sip their drinks.

“Not just sardines, but there was some oxtail soup as well, and a 4 pack of Stella. Loads of stuff, Jaffa Cakes, shampoo, easily a tenners worth”.

“Reckon he forgot to take the bag?

“Reckon he was a shoplifter”

“Why would a shoplifter leave a bag behind?”

“Security guard must’ve spotted him. Must’ve dumped the bag, and legged it”

“So you took the bag then?”

*chuckles* “Yeah!”

The two old men sip their pints.

“Fucking awful, that Stella”

“Yeah. Not even worth nicking”.


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