Just another day in Partick. The rules of physics change,
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Let’s get things in perspective. CERN may have discovered time travel, but my local Sainsburys have stopped selling Wensleydale cheese. |
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I mean, its all well and good talking about time travel, but that’s not going to help me make my 4 cheese lasagne tonight, is it? |
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I mean, it’s all well and good saying I can go back in time to get some Wensleydale, but I don’t want to create a new time stream. |
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Besides, I am not, I repeat *NOT*, a neutrino. I am a man. A big, hairy man. Made of flesh, and hair. I’m simply too large to time travel. |
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There’s only one thing for it. I’m going to have to cryogenically freeze myself until 2015, when Sainsburys sell anything-but-Cheddar again. |
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This means taking my flatmates “Miami Mighty Meaty” pizza out and putting myself in. He won’t be happy. This is all your fault, science. |
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Just putting myself in the freezer. Goodbye for now. Tell my wife and kids I love them, and tell Sainsburys to sell a wider range of cheese. |
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