How to do Twitter

18 Mar

Edit: Just to make it clear, these tweets were not mine, but those of @mr_neurosceptic on Twitter. Enjoy.

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    Here’s what i have noticed lately with Twitter and these are just merely observations:
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    1) An increase in pricks piggybacking on moral bandwagons and using them to troll other users on Twitter who disagree with their view.
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    2) You’re welcome to your global outragefests and mawkish faux sob-a-thons. If that’s what makes your thighs sweaty.
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    3) I use the Internet to talk shit to amuse myself. If you don’t like it, fuck off. This is the Internet, i can say whatever the fuck i like
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    4) Unfollowing isn’t personal, so don’t take it personally. Here’s a tip – go find some real friends who appreciate you.
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    5) I’m not here to be popular or loved. My entire ethos is being a nobody somebody might discover someday on here.
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    6) I don’t have a blog, i don’t have a book, i don’t have a website, i don’t have a podcast. I’m just an idiot with a head full of shit.
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    7) Final one – Be yourself. Know your own mind. Make your own decisions. Follow and unfollow whoever you want. This is YOUR timeline.
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    8) Go fuck yourselves. Goodnight.
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    9) I declare war against trolls, bots, entrepreneurs, armchair Che Guevaras, columnar journalists, lolcat pic lovers and #hashtag abusers.
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    10) Another thing – Most of these people on the Internet aren’t your real friends, they’re acquaintances who probably masturbate about you.
  12. I don’t think there’s too much there that I can disagree with…

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